The year in review and my intention for 2011

Let’s see the 2010 year in review. Where to start?

I rang in the New Year at Shelly’s with Christine, lil M, Lisa and Jeanette. Set my intention to manage my money and lower my debt in preparation for next year’s intention of making way for a child.

Worked out and was healthy until the end of January. Struggled with caring for my health through February and looked forward to my upcoming birthday.

February brought the annual Dornburgh pilgrimage for shopping fun and my mom to my house too.

March first I began my garden clean up with removing all the old plant remains. Saw robins, heard red wings, the days grew longer, the sun stronger; felt hope in the renewal of the Earth. My birthday came along in March and I turned the big 4-0. I was surrounded by friends who treated me like a queen, all I was missing was the crown. Stopped drinking and stayed healthy for 6 weeks.

Gardened with joy, did some running, wasted a lot of time daydreaming!

With summer came my trip to Texas to see Charlene, Tracy, aunt Char too. I loved every moment of seeing their world first hand and learned that even cows like affection!

Summer brought freedom from work, more gardening, more time wasting, and lots of time with CK and lil M. Went to NYC in August and got to eat Ethiopian food for the first time!

School returned and time ran away from me! Spent way too much time shopping and getting little things for Christmas presents. Shop early and often I say!

I got pretty good with my money, refied the mortgage and dropped it to 15 years. Paid off debt, saved money, planned.

However, I ate like a pig, gained weight, and ended the year at a huge 73 kg. Learned that if I could be good with money, I could be good with food. Learned to take it easier on myself.

Spent the days around Christmas with my Mom. Shared my greatest intention with her. I might be 40. I might be single. But I don’t imagine myself never having a child. I want to have a child, but in the non traditional sense. What I mean is that I don’t plan on birthing one, I want to adopt. I want to adopt domestically a child 3-5 years old. I know there is a soul out there that is waiting. I want this to be as God wills it, should it be a boy or girl, should it be fore a short while or a longer time. I have something to give as does this little person. So here we are at the end of the 2010 journey. Here I am laying my intention for 2011:

I will pursue the adoption of a child.

As God wills it, so shall it be. Amen!

Gifts from the Soul

What do you buy someone who has everything? You do something personal for them, something from the heart that has meaning. Now, I’m not trying to say I have everything, but well, really, I do. Other than the fact that I seriously could use $400,000 to set things straight financially, I live a comfortable life. So what did my mom get me for Christmas? She got clever. For Christmas she had an older piece of furniture sanded and refinished. This piece of furniture was a magazine rack that had its origins in NJ. It was a wedding gift to my grandmother Pat in 1937. It was given to her by her aunt Marty who was the wife of my grandmother’s uncle, John Cunningham. The rack lived at my grandfather’s house until his death in 1986 when it moved to my parents’ house. Oddly at that time, we lived in the trailer still and I have no memory of where this poor rack rested until it was moved to the house in 1987. In the house it lived in the living room (TV room) and held a collection of VHS tapes! What a lonely and disrespected life! Mom was inspired to give me something that would not only surprise me, but have love and a family story behind it.

So a few months ago she found someone who specialized in refurnishing and had her restored to her former glory. She’s a delight who fits right in with my 1931 house! At the moment she is wearing several of my favorite books and my collection of Supernatural DVD’s. I think that I shall use her to display either themes or favorites (or both)!

Christmas time this year was really special. I went to Mom’s at the 24th and stayed until the 27th. We watched movies and Supernatural, and mostly we talked a lot, about a lot of things. Some things, even were from the depths of my soul. We both cried over the movie: Spitfire Grill. After, Mom said she wanted to roll in the snow the pain was so great. That was Christmas day. But mostly the day was peaceful, and I even felt my father was near. I kept seeing black flashes or shadows. At one point when I looked at the loveseat I saw my father lying there. I did share this with mom and neither of us was freaked out by it. Strangely, this did not happen again after that one day. Now I don’t think my father is a ghost because that means his soul is not at rest or can’t let go. I do think perhaps at times people who have passed are allowed to get a little closer to our realm so that we can kind of sense them nearby. Anyway you think of it, we did have a lovely time and we stayed peppy and not melancholic.

Now I am looking forward to New Year’s, which oddly is my favorite holiday! I love the idea of rebirth. And isn’t that the gift from the soul? Just as the newly varnished magazine rack reminds me of relatives from the past who gave from their hearts; even a little piece of furniture can be reborn with love.

101 Ways to Cope with Stress

I found this old clipping among my papers as I was cleaning. I've no idea where it came from, but it pre-dates the internet for sure! Remember when we would mail each other clipppings and such? Yeh, from back then. Heck, just looking over old tax forms is funny. The print looks so outdated (and mine only date back to 1992)! I'm sure the current print we use will look old in 10-20 years too!

I scanned the clipping and made it a jpeg. It should enlarge when clicked on!

I haven't written a quality post in some time!

Tell you what I'm up to: time wasting! Ut oh! Smack me now! I'm suppose to have my "bill box" sorted and shreded by now. It's on the "to-do" list for Wednesday. For me, the "to-do" list is the only way to stay focused and organized, and when I do most or all of it I can go to bed peaceful and relaxed knowing I have accomplished my tasks! Pretty OCD! LOL! But it works for me. Vacation breaks move way too fast and next thing you know it is time to return to reality and work.

What's still on the list? the gym, the clothing on my bed, paperwork for BLT at school, a blog post about gifts from the soul, some photos to scan, and the movie "Inception" to watch. I'm also reading Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly. There's other stuff to do also, but that's the bulk of today's adventure.

So with that in mind, I'll get the iTunes going and get back to work. But first, let me leave you with a fantastically simple, yet yummy dish I made up yesterday:

Sweet Potatoes and Black Beans

2 sweet potatoes
1 can black beans
onions and peppers
little olive oil
white pepper and coriander
curry paste if you want to give it kick

Peel, then bake or boil the sweet potatoes. Cut them into small pieces. Meanwhile fry up onions and peppers and then when they are cooked enough add a can of undrained black beans. Once the sweet potato is soft; then add it to the mixture. Cook everything together and season for about 10 minutes. Then, eat it and enjoy!!!

Vegetarian Breakfast Strata

Vegetarian Breakfast Strata

- 1 ½ cups sliced portabella mushrooms
- 1 ½ cups chopped asparagus
- 4 Morningstar Farms Veggie sausage patties
- ½ cup chopped onions
- ½ cup chopped green peppers
- 1 garlic clove, minced
- 3 Tablespoons vegetable oil
- ½ cup skim milk
- 5 eggs
- 4 slices day old bread, cubed
- 4 oz. cheddar cheese, shredded (one cup)
- ¼ teaspoon white pepper

Directions:

1. In a large skillet, sauté the mushrooms, asparagus,
crumbled sausage, onions, peppers, and the garlic in the
vegetable oil until the vegetables are tender.
Drain if needed and pat dry; set aside.

2. In a large mixing bowl, beat the milk and eggs
until well blended. Stir in the bread, cheese,
pepper, and vegetable mixture.

3. Pour into a greased 11in. x 7 in. baking dish.
Bake, uncovered at 350 for 30-35 minutes or until
a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.
Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Serves 8.

I am enjoying the Christmas Cards!

For some reason the cards this year are making me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thank you to everyone! Aunt Char's was the best:

Trust God-Live Simply-Love Much-Laugh Often

Keep the season simple and remember that it's all about love and family, never ever about stuff. Because you can't take it with you! And remember the greatest gift is your health, and the love of those around you!

I am looking forward to time off, and I am looking forward to the new year. PEACE!

Halloween is Stupid (but at least I can wear black nail polish for the day)

Seriously! Halloween was a pagan holiday stolen by the Catholic church and corrupted to symbolize evil. Now, it's all about candy, coz let's face it, how many over the age of 10 really care about their costumes unless they happen to also be into Cosplay, but then those peoppe aren't constrained by one day on the calendar anyways.

Candy! Yummy! I recently had a student write the most amazing stream of conscieousness piece involving the rapture of eating a York peppermint patty. They are good aren't they? She captured it at a total mind/body/spirit sensual level.

Here it is:

Yesterday, my teacher gave me a piece of candy. I tasted chocolate, taste of marshmallow, and mixed chocolate together and the way I felt was all nice inside and my taste buds felt the same way, all the way down my throat, melting the goodness. It was like a gift from Heaven, up in the clouds all wrapped ready to be eaten from us people below.



Maybe Halloween's all about scary stuff. Well, I ask, why save it for one day? You want scares? Watch horror movies, or if you are like me, the TV show Supernatural. Last episode featured and angry dentist with a drill, should I elaborate? I think not.

It's kinda weird how there is this one day dedicated to, well...weird!

So here is a link to the History Channel's page on Halloween: Enjoy! Halloween

Things I Learned From My Dad

I meant to post this entry on October 5, 2010, the date that would have been my father's 70th birthday. Somehow, I did not, but here it is:


Ten Things I learned from my Dad

This is a re-write from memory from the original of 2002. This was first written and read at my father’s funeral in August 2002. It is the best recollection I have of the eulogy and posted in honor of my father’s 70th birthday: October 5, 2010. A few things at the end I added for this post exclusively, they were not read at the funeral.

Ten Things I learned from my dad:

1) Measure Twice, Cut Once

Clearly this means you need to take care with your work. A carpenter who measures twice has taken the care to not waste valuable resources. Outside of carpentry this quote means to think before acting, to take pride in work, to slow down and be careful.

2) Take the Bull by the Horns

Got a problem? Only you can solve it, so take the bull by the horns and wrestle that problem to the ground. Sometimes the direct approach is the best approach. Take it head on and don’t let go until you’ve beaten the beast!

3) No Regrets

No one I know of has a time machine. We’re stuck with the mistakes we make, but we can’t change the past, so we have to let go. Don’t wallow in what could have been, look to the future, forgive yourself and others and move on.

4) Love Freely

Dad got this from his mom. Don’t go around pointing fingers, judging, feeling superior to others. It’s karma, who is to say who is right or wrong, who is worthy or not? Care for your fellow human being. Give and receive. Love freely, and it will come back in abundance.

5) God Be Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise

This was Dad’s famous disclaimer. It’s like when you are planning for the future and you don’t want to jinx yourself. My father enjoyed healthy future planning and often said this as he projected.

6) God Can be Worshipped Anywhere

I remember this from my childhood. We were sporadic church goers, but the reverend, Mr. Hillis, was a part of our circle of friends. My dad would discuss religion and practice and I remember when he said that he told Mr. Hillis that you didn’t need to be in a church to talk to God. I think my dad even said you could be in the middle of a field.

7) Don’t do anything Half Ass

Just do the job right! If you can’t then get some assistance, but by all means, be honest about it. Take pride in what you do and if you are doing something for another, then do it with the best you have to give.

8) The Pencil Never Lies

This was Dad’s budgeting tip. My dad always kept a budget and discussed it. I learned to manage money from an early age. I now use the same steno pad as my budget book. In fact, like my dad, I love to trace the numbers. As I used to say to him: “Will that make the money grow?”

9) Drive with the best of them

This one comes from our first memorable vacation to New England in 1977. We were driving the highways near Boston and there was heavy traffic. My mom was in a panic and my dad was all relaxed (likely thrilled) saying: “I drive with the best of them!” What I took from this is to not be intimidated, even when you are out of your element.


10) You’re just as good as anybody else

I remember being told we were upper middle class! I believed it, and what’s wrong with believing? It was only in college that I learned we were working class. But I grew up never feeling inferior, poor, left out…never. My father fostered a very strong sense of self and power in me, especially as a female. I think the lesson here is that belief is everything.


And two colorful rejoinders:


11) It was Moving like a Whip-o-will’s ass in a wind storm

Good God he’d say that! It was so funny! Of course it simply means it’s going very very fast!

12) Tell ‘Em where the Bear shits in the Buckwheat

Tell it like it is! LOL! Perhaps the polite word here is to be pragmatic.


My dad's been on my mind a lot lately. I don't believe in heroes, but he comes really close to one just coz he's an inspiration to how to live life well. :)

Beekman 1802

Wow! What fun! Last Sunday, me and three of my high school girls and the families went to Sharon Springs for the Harvest Fest. It was sponsored by the Fabulous Beekman Boys. A little history on Sharon Springs: once a spa town for those who were in need of healing baths, Sharon Springs had been abandoned and its resorts fallen to ruin for well over 50 years. Then, rebirth! Not really sure how, but I might have to attribute it to the work of Doug Plummer and Garth Roberts who with lots of money and hard work and a giantic dream brought the American Hotel back to life. http://americanhotelny.com/ It's been a long journey, and the area is still poor overall, but last weekend, you'd have thought you were in New England!

The Harvest Fest was simple, lots of vendors, crafts, vegetables, and farm animals. Brent Ridge, the stay at home farmer of the couple, was on the steps of the Roseboro all day Sunday answering questions and posing for photo ops! Very pleasant person! I thanked him for helping central NY by living there and having the show which of course helps to put Sharon Springs on the map. Rosie O'Donnell was there (I think on Saturday), but no Martha Stewart (Brent once was her advisor). The film crew was up at the farm, so I'm sure some good stuff will make it to air for Season 2 ( not until spring Brent said).

http://beekman1802.com/ Check out the website! And Brent's blog, which is likely more articulate and insightful than mine!

http://beekman1802.com/1802-blogs/dr-brents-blog

Dana and the kids got pictures and autographs! I was just happy to enjoy the pretty day and catch up with my own "Beekman Girl" Kylie, who had moved from the City and is now living on the family farm and making a go of it. Weather willing, we'll be out there next sunday harvesting potatoes! No film crew, but I imagine it will still be fun!

Random Connectiveness

With the event of the internet, we can connect with people from aol over. We can choose to bear our souls, connect, complain, get free advice etc....

But what did people do over 30 years ago?

Maybe, they randomly connected via phone. One thing that happened when I was a kid comes back to remind me frequently when I am online and specifically on blogs. One night, a teenaged girl called my house. My mom picked up and the girl started talking about her life, her concerns and her troubles. Over the course of months or maybe more, she would call from time to time and they'd chat. A girl from my town, yet a complete stranger. I remember my mom adding her name and number to our call list that hung above the phone.

I always tell my mom she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders.

We may FB and use blogs all the time, but there are still people out there that will bear their souls to my mother. Who use her as a springboard to their inner feelings and worries. She's a listener and very good at it. Even for me, it's always been easy to be honest and forward with her. I can see how she inspires it in other people.

I wonder about random telephone girl. She'd be about 50 now! Wonder if she blogs! Wonder if she's become a good listener. We never really know how we inspire.

NYC!

Not sure why I never wrote about my trip to NYC with CK, lil M, and two teen boys: J2. Anyways, it was lovely even if I am an absolute nag sometimes.....must stop always needing to be the "Dad". I hadn't been down there in a year and it was over due. I just love to go to Manhattan and explore. We did a lot of walking, mainly from Grand Central through Times Square and over to 47th between 9th and 10th. That's where Mesekem, the Ethiopian restaurant is.

Please try Ethiopian food! Seriously, "We are the World" in the 1980's did as much damage to Ethiopia's image as it did good in raising funds. I know that as a teen I had no clue about Ethiopia. None! With Lil M being born there, it's helped me to know more about it.

Andthe food is AWESOME!!!!!

At M & M World you can buy trinkets and of course, M & M's in every color imaginable. It was super crowded and noisy and got on my nerves, but on a hot day, the M & M's were a handy little treat!

I think the picture above was at Poughkeepsie where we boarded the train. Big J was just great with lil M. :)

So our day: We went to Meskerem, an Ethiopian Restaurant on 47th street, the Central Park Zoo, M & M World, and Harlem Market. At Harlem Market (which is an open air flea market of some African goods) I bought two stone cats that are now sitting on the shelf below the TV and also I bought an Ethiopian bracelet from a nice woman who had fun talking about her homeland with us.

It was a long FUN day. Lil J is already beggin and conspiring for our next trip back! :)

Fun things

Nothing earth shattering to report, but that's really how it should be! Had a couple of fun days in a row with CK. We went to Best Buy and spent a few hours (not joking) making serious decisions about iPod's and speaker systems. Finally, we both decided on the iPod Nano and I talked CK into the 16 GB, coz you know you always end up wishing you went for the bigger memory.

We both wanted purple. It's her favorite color, and although mine is typically blue, the blue one wasn't the right blue, but I thought the purple one to be blue-purple. I mean, color...that's important! LOL!

I am so amazed at the trully fun upgrades it has over my 2006 nano. It has a video camera and the video is crisp! It can voice record, but not take pictures, which is odd. It also has a built in speaker, so you can actually hear it!!!! I remember a student a few years ago but an iPod to his ear to listen and I told him it didn't work that way...well not anymore!!!!

I got an iPod and Tunes for Dummies book out of the library yesterday b/c it is that intense. Yeh, I geek for electronics!

Also, coming up is a trip to the City! We'll be eating Ethiopian and seeing the Central Park Zoo and the Harlem Market (hopefully). Seems manageable in one day, but we tend to lolly-gag. I mean, Best Buy, case in point. And yesterday was at least an hour or two at the library without even noticing the passing of time.

Unrelated note: gave blood yesterday. My blood pressure was 112/70 and my pulse 62. Really healthy, especially given this is me out of shape! {and after 2 hours restling an unresponsive computer} Makes me happy to be so healthy, and thankful. I also had a really good iron count! But I guess I should take even better care of this body. More exercise, less sugar, less weight. At 68 kilos I still look enormous. I feel thinner, then I see a photo and gasp! So I have good body image, but it isn't accurate. Weird. I just need to move more!!!!

Namaste!

So what's up?

Today had to be the laziest day ever!!!!! I did not go outside, not even to the mailbox (not that I get much snail mail anyhow)!!!! Why? I've no idea actually. I think it was simply because I could, and thus I did. I played with my blog layouts and redesigned them. I baked brownies, I watched Fabulous Beekman Boys for the first time. I read from Chimera by Rob Thurman. Ummm, can't say I've done much more. Guess it is officially August.



One really cool thing is that I spent no money. In fact, two days in a row without spending! Wow!!! With 5 weeks left until a pay check, I have no choice to be anything but frugal.



I did spend time trying to find a great Ethiopian Restaurant in NYC. There were several listed possibilities. It's on the to-do list of August to get down there with CK and have some ingera and wot!!! That and the Central Park Zoo.







On an un-related note:


Mom told me that she talked to SP the other day and that she had gotten a tattoo of this pump and a lily in honor of my grandmother. My grandmother took her in like a foster daughter, but not officially, and for no money. She means the world to SP. I love that my grandmother was that inspiring.


I drew this at age 14 on lined paper. I wasn't planning on drawing, just goofing around. I put it in the desert to show it as a symbol of a last chance. I've no idea why, just seemed cool to do at the time.

Since that last post was about famous photography....

I love this work by Bert Beehm of Clayville, NY. Taken about 1947 of his daughter Marion, and neighbors Patricia Wilson and Lila Wilson. Note how their faces relect in the water below.

Captured: America in Color from 1939-1943 – Plog Photo Blog

I found this interesting collection of pictures:

Captured: America in Color from 1939-1943 – Plog Photo Blog

Personally, I'd have been happier if they simply called the children, "children" and did not note their race, but over all the pictures tell the story of the people of that time. And I guess my other bother would be for people to read too much into these photos and assume people were dirt poor or unhappy. I've plenty of outtakes from my own photos that make me look dirty and poor! You can't tell everything from a moment captured in time, still it is fun!

I passed

the eye test!

So I had my twice a decade eye exam yesterday. It was part of the infamous teacher’s summer “to-do” list. We get free glasses every two years, might as well take advantage. Except I usually forget to. I mean it’s easy to forget when you actually have stopped wearing your glasses almost completely. Oh and when said glasses get so bent the lenses are misaligned and you can’t see out of them properly, yeh that will cause you to not wear them.

Then there’s vanity. No, not the, “these frames are ugly” type. Good god, there are so many beautiful frames out there kinda makes you want to have to wear them. But no, age vanity. It’s an entirely different beast. In the last few years I have been hell bent to not wear my glasses because I believe that eyesight is made stronger if you actually make your eye muscles do the work.

Seems my theory wasn’t so insane anyhow! I went to the test and the eye doctor told me to read the bottom row. It was fuzzy, but I managed to get them all right. But then, hey that ‘s always been the thing with my vision, I can figure our just about any lettering, that doesn’t make it clear. Still, after checking once or twice with the ole: “ this one or that one”? She said, you’re reading the bottom line without glasses, that’s 20/20. Now I’m not going to debate with her, coz I haven’t been 20/20 since the Thriller album came out, but I have one more strategy to play, one more vanity favor to ask.

“So this means I don’t have to have corrective lenses on my license”?

“Come with me” She says and then we’re out of the exam room before she even checks for reading glasses and fancy things like fusion (which I totally have been failing since forever) and she’s filling out the paper work and I’m thinking “Awesome!”

It’s easy to get excited at 40, it’s the little things that count. So I ordered a new pair of sunglasses, because I do wear those all the time in the summer, but no new regular glasses. I guess I won’t be getting the vision surgery any time soon!

I take after my mother, who at 67 is the anomaly who still doesn’t need reading glasses. [I like anomalies]!!! We both went to an eye exam in 1986 and got glasses that neither of us ever wore. Mine were so huge! I kept them however, and they make a wonderful pair of safety glasses for when you are weed whacking. Mom, on the other hand, still has that pair from 1986 and never wears them, has never replaced them!

So I don’t think my vision is going to score me any jobs flying fighter planes, but at least I can get by. Still, it would be neat to have vision like my dad. His was 20/15. I can’t even fathom that level of clarity since even my glasses have never been able to reproduce that perfection (probably due to that fancy fusion thing).

But for now, my vanity has been stroked.

Texas

That's the city of Dallas, Texas. Kinda looks small compared to NYC.

TEXAS! BIG, GREEN! (no way) and FLAT! Taken from 3,500 feet in a Piper Cherokee airplane flown by my cousin's husband Donald.

With my cousins: Tracy, me, Charlene at the restaurant "Jalapenos [something]" near the Oklahoma border.

I had to go to Texas to see for myself if the stereotypes were true. And you know that answer already: NO! Sure there are red-necks, there are plenty in NY, but most people were just regular folk. Sadly, George Bush tainted that state even though he was not a native. It was easy to dismiss the place as one that supported the fool, and maybe they still do, but I'm past that now.

I really went to Texas to see family. That was my only mission. Anything else was a bonus. It was especially nice to see my Aunt Charlene since the last time I saw her was in 1991! As soon as I got out of the SUV she says: "You look just like your mom!" Guess what! She looks just like her mom too! Think of it, last time she saw me I was fresh faced and barely out of my teens and my mom was in her 40's. It's odd that way, how we switch roles. Charlene and her husband Tom live on a farm in Winchester. They have about 70 big beefers who act a lot more like dogs than cows. We rode out to the field on the Kubota and the cows came running! One cow, Sweetpea, is clearly Charlene's favorite. She was all excited to see us because she knew she'd get a cow cookie. That's right, they make treats for cows! We continued on having a nice ride around the block as the sun was setting. I took several great pictures (from my point of view) and you'll see them below.

So, after our day in Winchester (which is about an hour from Austin) we drove back to Waxahachie. It's a three hour drive. And this is the part of Texas that everything is more close (as opposed to West Texas). Think on it, 3 hours for me and I can be in either Boston or NYC. Despite this, car rides never bother me. I like to see stuff and I have a great imagination that allows me to think of a hundred things while driving.

Back at Waxahachie it was the 4th of July and that means that folks get their own fireworks if they want because they are legal. We missed the city send off by a day. But Donald had better plans. We were able to fly in his plane and look at it all from above! I didn't take any pictures, but a night flight is fun. We saw the lights of Dallas (we couldn't fly in that airpace) and we saw two different grass fires where people weren't thinking and lit their lawns, nothing major fire wise, just the size of a burn barrel.

Is Texas different? Yes, apparently a lot of people are armed (legally) and can carry it. And they fly the Texas flag everywhere reminding us that once it was its own country. And religion, well let's just say if you are not Christian you'll be driving quite a distance to find a house of worship. Christianity is huge there. Football? Yep, it's "Friday Night Lights"! Especially as we flew over all these smaller cities we could see the size of both the schools and the stadiums. HUGE on both accounts. But I subscribe to the school of thought that says we are all different and unique, yet we have common needs. So there are some things about Texas that are different and unique and others that are similar.

See the school and the large football stadium?

I honestly don't get the hype over Florida. If I were to retire to a nice warm climate state, I'd pick Texas in a heartbeat. It feels like a real place unlike Florida and its have and have nots and gated communities. The weather when I was there was about 95 with 50% humidity. It's totally tolerable to be outside. We swam several times in the backyard pool, but never got a chance to walk abound the block. We did tour downtown Waxahachie and have lunch at this quaint cafe called Chantilly. No, it wasn't "BEEF, It's What's For Dinner"! No, we had a delicate chicken salad. We toured some antique shops that were clean and not musty and went to a clothing consignment shop where I got a skirt for work (blue and floral and knee length) for only $4. In fact, we ate very well! We even had salad and fish! LOL!

It was great to see family at their homes. I'd love to return!

In Memoriam

Mooshu and The Magnolia

On my birthday, of all days, I awoke late to hear a chainsaw nearby. Looking out my dining room window I noticed my neighbors were getting their magnolia tree trimmed. Thirty minutes, and another cup of coffee later (I was moving slowly that day for obvious reasons) and that chainsaw was still in action. That’s some trim, I’m thinking. I mean, I know the tree lost a larger branch during the snow of February, but still....

Imagine my horror when I realized that this was no trim, no it was a massacre! The poor tree was being systematically cut into small chunks. Branch by branch, she was being put to death.

When the magnolia was gone, all gone, down to her remaining trunk, she was gone, and there was nothing in my power or the power of Heaven that could bring her back. Now, as the other magnolias bloom and pass to their peak of the season, there is nothing left but pictures of the once gracious tree.

But all things are impermanent. In gardening, I embrace the philosophy that the plants that are met to live will live, and if they die, it is part of the cycle of being. The cycles of life playing themselves out perfectly are exemplified in my garden. As it is in nature, it is for humans too. We try to pretend we are not a part of this natural state, but we are.

So for the magnolia to leave this state, it is ultimately okay, but I liken it to the passing of a person not quite old, a person who perhaps was murdered, or died too quickly and too young. Those deaths are always the most difficult, the ones that leave us to question fate, faith and fairness. There isn’t always fairness in death. It is never right, there is never the right time. How old is old enough? How sick is sick enough? When has a being suffered enough?

Mooshu was CK’s dog. A big beautiful Chow Chow with a kindly disposition he wasn’t even supposed to be graced with. Chow’s aren’t known for being friendly, or good with kids. But there was Mooshu, he liked cuddling and belly rubs, and he enjoyed attention. I always treated him as I treat cats, let them come to you when they seek attention. But even when little MK was all over MooMoo, using him as a big doggy pillow, he still was as easy going as ever.

Mooshu was eleven and healthy right to the end. He got sick and had seizures just the night before CK took him to the vet where she was informed he had a tumor and internal bleeding. So sweet “MooMoo” (as I used to call him) had to be put to sleep. I love what CK told her daughter: “Mooshu is everywhere now.” I love the idea of his spirit becoming one with all things and his memory staying with us to make us smile.

The lesson to us all is that nothing remains. Each moment happens only once. It is up to us to take each moment as it comes. Enjoy the things you love, the people in your life, plants, animals, moments. Appreciate what each thing brings to you, and understand you can not keep it, but for that moment.

Below is the complete story with pictures of Tibetan monks creating then symbolically dismantling a sand mandala. It is with this art that the monks teach the truth of impermanence.

http://www.longleaf.net/mandala/

The Art of Living

Ah Spring is here and life is good! I've seen three bluebirds so far and am pretty sure that I have heard and spotted the Red Wing Blackbirds. Still, I won't feel complete until I hear their "Booker T's" ringing out. I took a glorious walk today to the library to return my book. On the way home I was looking for early spring plants, but it seems, like me, there aren't too many folks out there with daffodils or crocus. I did see a little green promice that I know in about two weeks will be sporting a yellow flower......and so we hope, but this is actually a pointed post about happiness with a link to the Live Science site which always has interesting and up-to-date articles.

Enjoy!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100305/sc_livescience/studyhappinessisexperiencesnotstuff

Are you content?

What is it that we really need to get from life? I think of all the older women I talk to and when they speak of their children (who are usually my age) what do they say: “So and so has 4.5 children....so and so has redesigned their kitchen.....so and so is now the regional manager.” Has anyone ever said: “My child has self-actualized. She is very content with her life as it is. She wakes every morning thankful for her health, her life, her career and the bountiful gifts that make her complete.”

Yeh, I didn’t think so. We love to measure success in tangibles, but really, are things the same as contentment?

Today I gardened for the first time in 2010. It was a beautiful thing. I was out there like some eccentric in winter snow boots, ear muffs, and my dad’s old plaid flannel. Dad’s flannel brings his presence closer to me as I do something he loved. I talk to the flowers, coax life from them in these early spring days, and I am one with nature. The roses are trimmed now, already new life was forming on their stalks, so I begged them to forgive me for the pruning. I also managed to move about the last bits of snow so it would melt faster. Think I’m weird? My neighbor was out doing the same thing. Later, after my labors and two full paper bags of greenery, I sat on my front step and just soaked it all it. It was so calming. I was happy just to be there on a Friday evening with no hurries or worries. I had started on a promising spring of plants and life and I had so much time ahead of me.

It is so possible to focus on the negatives of life and forget the blessings. There is a famous quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln:

“Most folks are about as happy as they choose to be.”

Isn’t that the truth? How people choose to look at their lives, their situations, how much they choose “glass half full” or half empty makes up their point of view. I like to say perception is 100% of reality. It’s all how you look at it.

I’m currently reading a book called “Living Serendipitously” by Madeleine Kay that has chapters titled “Happiness is a Choice” and the “Magic of Believing”.

Although this book is full of insight I don’t find anything within the pages to be Earth shattering. This book speaks to my way of thinking. So much of life is about the opportunities we take hold of when they come and seeing opportunity in unlikely places. And it is about belief, belief, and hope and faith. Everything is connected and a part of the Infinite.

So think of all the blessings in your life. Enjoy moments as they happen and with the joyous wonderment of a child. So much of your life is filled with abundance. Rejoice!

If there was a point to this post, it would be in this title!

Spring is coming, but today is grey, so here's a little color to enliven the day.

Second snow day in a row!!! And it's not snowing! God I love living in a district that has hills! It's raining and has been since 3 PM yesterday. We did get 12 inches of snow yesterday, however, it's only about 40 inches (one meter) for the seasonal total. I can not complain. I really did little on the to do list yesterday, but today I am making up for it. [Including blog posting, which I am totally behind on, and updating Goodreads with new books]

I just realized it is only 7:30! Wow! I still have a whole day ahead of me! I love the promise of open time to use as needed. Practical to do things today include placing the belt on the vacuum cleaner, and if it does not work going to buy a new one. Vacuums are such annoyances!!! You might as well buy a cheap one because they only break down after 3-5 years no matter how much you pay.

C and M had been here for a week while they had repairs done at their house. It was lovely having a full house. Mom was here to for three days. I have such a small family being an only child, but having lots of people under my roof feels really good. It reminds me of my Grandmother who always loved to open her doors and feed people. She was the eldest of several and an alpha. They do say that only children sometimes behave like oldest children. In my case it is true, I am bossy! LOL! But I do hope, like my grandmother, that there are qualities I've learned from her such as giving and an open mind.

Seriously!!!

I haven't posted in nearly a month! Am I nuts? Naw! Just living life. Things have been good. I have honestly found a niche in exercise. I go to Best Fitness pretty much everyday and I really like the time I spend there. I am building muscle and endurance. Mostly, I am feeling good about me.

Had a bad episode today though. I went in planning to walk 5 minutes then run 20, then walk 5. But I changed my course and started to run at a 10 minute mile. So at 25 minutes I had ran over 2 miles and decided to run to 30 minutes and then walk into cool down. this was fine, and I felt good, but somewhere in the 30 minutes range I decided to run fast like I was completing the Freihofer's race. I ran way too fast and it was too much. I did my 5 K in about 35 minutes (rememeber that the first 5 of it was walking) and then I felt a little short of breath. My heart rate was 147! The chart on the machine said at 40 the HR should be 142 for 80% HR. I was so maxed out! It freaked me out! I immediately went down to walking and visualized calm. My HR went down quickly and by 2 minutes was lower than 120, but still it freaked me out.

So then, as if that's not bad enough...I have a freakin anxiety attack over my heart being stressed out!!!!!!! So then I''m trying to releave that and lower my HR simutaneously! Duh!

Oh it get's better! I decided to drink a glass of red wine! They say red wine is healthy! Well I did! 5 months sober and I broke it. I'm okay today about it. I don't want to go back to the drinking. I have my health to focus on and it's far too important. But some red wine can be good, just not too much.

I need to run a little less and a little slower! My heart will grow stronger as any muscle does, but I want to work up to it. I think my darn stamina exceeeds my cardio strength!

Tomorrow is a day off. Then back on Tuesday! :D

A poetry prompt

Whooo! How exactly do you spell that exclamation you make when you’ve done quite a lot and feel slightly tired but really accomplished? It’s been a busy vacation in every way possible and I am returning to work tomorrow feeling tidied up! As I was cleaning I came across several writings that I began at a writing class and meant to make into blog posts, but never did. So this first one, which was all about using poetry to inspire writing, is from that class.

The writing is raw, but honest. I think of all the writing I put my students through. I’d like to think I’d never ask them to do something I would not, but I do. How? Well if I won’t share my work, if I won’t dare to expose myself, then how can I ask the same of them?

So here is post one of the “raw” free write inspired stuff! The prompt was simple:

Start with “I am...” and ramble on:


I am cacophony
At once the noise of many
As I dance through the scene on a stage.
I am bright water
Churning, crystal, wetting rocks and earth
As I glide.
I am the sound of music
Twirling dizzy like the leaves
As I wonder.

I am my telephone number, my house number, my age.
And I am none of these.
I used to think I’d know the Answer first at 23,
Then 30, then 35-
But no number will ever hold a magic answer for me.

I am not poetry
Words that sing in metaphor,
Pounding rhythm and mystical rhyme.
I am facts, square and strong
But I’d like to think that square’s gotten rounded over time.
I am a spiral
Starting at my center and extending outward round and round.